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i dont really know how to write anymore. i mean, REALLY write. from the heart or the soul wherever the hell all the painful stuff comes from. I put too much pressure on myself, to be perfect. so when i write and it turns out to be completely shit (just like this) it hits me harder than it probably should. i want to write about a beautiful kind of love, the kind that people spend their whole lives dreaming of. but ive never experienced that kind of love, or any worthwhile kind at all. so if i tried to write about it, i'd just end up pulling it out of my ass and i dont know really i just miss you so much.