For you, a thousand times over. No more summertime sadness.

This is the last post
that i will ever write about you 

because i have found 
that post by post 
my words do not touch you anymore 
but god how lucky you are to have somebody 
love you this much 

we ruined our love with lies that spun now im just left with memories 
how weird is it that i can have all this inside me 
and to you it's just words 


I live and learn everyday and its time to move on to the next champter of my life

"here are the things i want for you : 

i want you to be happy. i want someone to know the warmth of your smile 

to feel the way i do when i was in your presence. 

i want you to know how happy you once made me and though you really did hurt me, int he end, i was better for it. i dont know if what we had was love but if it wasnt i hope never to fall in love. 

because of you i know i am too fragile to bear it 

I want you to remember my lips beneath your fingers and how you told me things you never told another soul. i want you to know that i have kept sacred, everything you had entrusted in me and i always will. 

finally, i want you to know how sorry i am for pushing you away when i only meant to bring you closer. and if i ever felt like home to you, it was because you were safe with me. i want you to know that most of all. 

   - Lang Leav" 

you might think you found the one until your heart gets ripped and torned.. but i hope she makes you happy, because i don't want to see you hurt. you mean the world to me and i would cut throat to see you again. but i can't and this is what it is.. i just fucking wish you didn't give up on me. 

i love you so much and i miss you tremendously and i shall go on with my life wishing you were here, by my side.

i remember when i kissed your whole face

from your eyes, to your nose

to your fingers 

to your mouth

because i admire the things you called "flaws" 

and i kissed them to let you know that you are magic in my eyes

and how sad that it was our last kiss. 

it’s taken me too long to realize that if you wanted to be here
you would be. I’ve wasted enough time, chasing you back, admiring you, missing you, trying to keep you around, when all you ever wanted was to let me go. 

heaven is a place on earth with you, 

in love and extremely sorry i turned away. 

and Josh

this is for you, a thousand times over.